"I'd Look Better If I..."

Happy Tuesday everyone!
Today, I have a little bit of a two-for-one deal for ya in this blog post. I'm going to give you a look into my weekend, first to carry on with my "Pictures From the Weekend" post tradition.
And then I'm going to give you a little something to think about...
Just read what you please!

Weekend

Friday started off with some babysitting! Not my favorite way to spend a Friday night, but hey it was good cash! Plus I got to babysit with my friend, Jenna since the kids we watch can be a handful.

Saturday was busy. This explains me not getting to any blogging/blog commenting all day (sorry guys!). It was kind of nice to take a step away from the good ol' computer though.
I started my day off with some PSEO homework, and then got straight to a 9.7 mile run. It was cold (5 degrees), super snowy, and long. I'm also pretty sure that most of it was uphill.. But I got it done, and I was feeling good by the end, so no complaints there! I'll look back at this training and be proud.
:)

From there my dad and I headed to the mall to get some lunch, do some shopping and get my new MacBook Air. It's beautiful. And I'm obsessed.

Ahhhh :)
College is getting closer and closer everyday!

After the mall, I headed over to Christopher's to bake chocolate chip cookies and watch movies. We watched ATM (terrible, terrible movie) and No Strings Attached (yay for a chick flick!!).
-And yes, if you've been reading for awhile, this is how I spend the majority of my Saturday nights... movies and baking with Chris. I wouldn't trade it.

Anyway, it was a great day with lots of munching thanks to the wonderful run!

Sunday, I got some blogging done, and headed on over to work!
Here's ma eats!
Chicken, strawberry salad, apples, apple and mozzarella wrap, homemade Larabar, and some crackers. I also slipped a mini reese's in there. Just because, you know. :)

After work (I got off an hour early!) I headed over to my friend, Andy's house to watch the game the commercials with a group of friends. Oh, and my mom just showed me the Budweiser Clydesdales one. I teared up - and that is rare, people.

Anyway! I kind of sucked on the picture front, I know. But it was a solid weekend for sure!
:)

"I'd Look Better If I.."

Now onto something more thought provoking..
Yesterday, I had a visit to the doctor's office just to check in on some meds and get a shot (which I did NOT get worked up over- go Abby).
As usual, the doctor took my height and weight. My weight has crept up a couple pounds since last time, which I expected since I have started running more (hello leg muscles!), and I definitely have been incorporating more strength training.
I don't regularly weigh myself, because it just gets so confusing since I know that muscle weighs more than fat. And I just feel that weight is not the best indicator of someone's health and well-being. As long as the same jeans are fitting fine, I don't give the numbers much thought.

Anyway, it got me thinking to when I did get all wrapped up in the whole weight issue.
I remember going to a doctor's appointment with my mom back in 9th or 10th grade to find that I had gained 4 pounds since the previous visit. I started to tear up as we waited for my doctor, and had to shamefully spit the words out to my mother that I wasn't upset because I was in pain from being sick, but rather because I felt bad about a weight that was perfectly healthy for me.

I'm sure I am not the only one to have experienced a day like this.
The memory kicked my thoughts into high gear this afternoon... Though I am at a good spot with feeling good about myself and the way that I look, I can't help think every once in awhile.. "I'd look better if I..."


...stopped eating chocolate
...took longer to eat my food
...passed up on dessert every day
...did more sit-ups
...pushed myself harder in my workouts
...spent less of my time sitting, reading, studying, blogging
....ate more vegetables 
...restricted my carb intake
...ate less sugar
...kicked my runs up a notch
...stopped baking so much 
...listened to my hunger signals more diligently 


These are uncomfortable thoughts to have, but nonetheless, they creep into my head every now and then. They are mean and critical thoughts; it's the voice that calls me lazy, weak, stupid, out of control...

It's gotten pretty old actually.

So today, a reasonable thought popped into my head as I pondered the "Ifs". I thought to myself that I may not have the Victoria's Secret model abs, or the legs of Gisele..

...But I do have a life full of wonderful habits that I'm not ready to give up.
Having a "perfect body" isn't worth it for me if I have to give up froyo or peanut butter cups.
It's not worth pounding out extra miles and an unnecessary amount of stress... It's not worth shoving down vegetables when sometimes all I want is peanut butter and jelly... It's not worth passing up birthday cake, and it's not worth giving up the smell of warm chocolate chip cookies throughout the house.
I can be a healthy and happy person with all of those things in my life.

source

Sure, I may not get the satisfaction or the "stares" promised on Pinterest. To be honest, I've always found those pins are a little conceited and unrealistic anyway.

yuck!
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What I will get is a life with cute frosted sugar cookies, long runs, enough vegetables, sore abs, and of course, chocolate.

source

And that, my friends, is worth it. I challenge everyone to think about the relationship with health they want. Are you allowing yourself to live it? Without the guilt, without the punishment, and without the "ifs"?
Up until recently, I'm not sure if I really was. Sure, I'd eat cookies but the voice was always there, and I would just sort of let it linger or "keep me in check".

I think we can all benefit from quieting the voices like that.
 So there ya go. That's all I got. I hope everyone has a wonderful day! :)

Think about it: "Self-love is not selfish. It is not rude or self-seeking, it does not brag or puff up, it does not compete or fight. Self-love starts within, and flows outward. It gives in abundance with nothing to hide, and nothing to prove."